One solution to the uninvited guests problem

Hmm, I dunno why I didn't think of this sooner...

Well, my ushers have been sending mass emails to one another with instructions on how to make homemade flame throwers. I have thus-far discouraged this (well, mostly), because it takes 20 minutes for me to get in and out of my dress, and stop drop and roll just ain't gonna cut it with such highly flammable attire (not to mention the hair spray!). However, maybe I should reconsider this and field promote the ushers to "bouncers."

That's why I love my UTMB friends (who are ushering), they're so loyal and such great pyromaniacs. :)